Chaos Is Its Own Reward

Help wanted: experienced assassin

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 04:45:29 GMT

Brad: ... I think I like this guy...

No Excuses This Time...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 04:21:22 GMT

http://news.aol.com/article/rev-ed-hinds-61-found-slain-in-rectory/733606?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl1|link5|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Frev-ed-hinds-61-found-slain-in-rectory%2F733606

Brad: *drops his paper into his lap with a derisive snort of disgust* SCHULDIG! *waves the article vaguely in his direction* Farf's jacket... out of storage. Now. I don't care what he says this time...

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:00:20 GMT

http://news.aol.com/article/pentecostal-pastor-carol-daniels-found/636172?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fpentecostal-pastor-carol-daniels-found%2F636172

While reading the paper over his morning coffee, Brad pauses with a small frown and a shake of his head.

"Schuldig... retrieve Farfarello's jacket from the storage locker..."

speaking of getting older...

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:18:07 GMT

Happy Birthday Becca!

Writer's Block: Prophecy or Fallacy?

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:29:30 GMT

Happy birthday, Nostradamus. Many people consider the prophecies of Nostradamus to be uncannily accurate, while others remain skeptical. Do you think it's possible to predict the future?

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...yes...

Writer's Block: Facets of a Hero

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 22:26:37 GMT

What makes a hero?

View 500 Answers

A hero is a victim of circumstance. The right place, the right time, the right near tragedy to make a commom act of decency between civilized human beings extraordinary. Heroes are humble. Heroes don't weigh their options, or the risks, or the potential for personal loss against the life of another. Heroes act and never regret that they did. A hero is is someone who posesses something that others feel they lack in themselves - so the masses can live vicariously through the accomplishments of the few. Heroes never go looking to be labelled as such and labor on with their daily lives despite it. Heroes have mastered the art of cohabitating with the rest of humanity yet retain the all important skill of empathy. Heroes are the ones we call fools, idealists, whistleblowers, rabblerowsers - those willing to stand up for themselves and for others despite the status quo. A hero is a victim of his own morality because rarely is the life of a hero a glamorous one. A hero is willing to pay the price the rest of us find too high.

Unexpected Consequences

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 05:12:13 GMT

Nothing in my visions ever warned me that the most unstable among us would end up being the bedrock that we'd all anchor to in the storm after the fact.

Farfarello has been his most lucid, most focused since after the extermination of the elders. His war against god is as good as a forgotten hobby lately. He has always been focused... it was just what he focused on that had always been the challenge in controlling. Our efforts to bring down our triumvirate was a long, slow methodical process and it left too much free time between each painstakingly calculated step. Farf grew restless, frustrated and distracted all too easily during those times. Our innane assignment for Takatori was probably the worst I've ever seen him. But once the plan finally came together, once it all rushed to the end andd the tower finally fell exactly as promised... Farfarfello has seemed almost... sated.

In the absence of a higher goal... other than covering our own asses, which, is something we've always done and will always have to do until death stakes its claim... Farf seems to have found a new focus, a goal of his own. We have always been more than just a team of assassins. In fact, I think the only reason that we have never needed a replacement, and why we have never failed in a mission is because we have always functioned and related to one another outside Esset specifications. The elders knew... I don't think they counted on exactly how close we had all grown but they knew we were emotionally liable to one another on some level. Thankfully they never got the opportunity to use that against us. Honestly, it would have made us sloppy if they had.

Farfarello has found a new focus... us. More than once he has called us his family. I don't know if i'm comfortable with that assessment give the fate of his last family... The situation is much different now obviously. He is no longer a confused child suffering from a psychotic break... we have never betrayed him the way his family had. As scary as it is, Schuldig and I have been the only ones who ever showed him anything resembling compassion... not that either of us are experts on that particular subject.

Once we were free from the elders... I thought... honestly thought, we would all go our own seperate ways. I never thought we'd stick it out together. It makes us easier targets for all the would be pretenders to the elders thrones. But still, I'm glad we all are still together despite the risk. Against my better judgement, the three of them have gotten under my skin... like a bad skin infection or something. If they were actually gone I'd be relieved at first - to be rid of responsibility, to answer only to myself, to do whatever I want without having to worry about the effect my actions might have on them - but I know I'd end up always looking for that itch to scratch, missing it maybe only because I'm so used to it by now.

Farf thinks I feel more. Maybe I do. I wouldn't know. A lifetime being taught to not feel has done its damage... as Farf so readily points out on a moments notice. It's a disturbing thought that Berserker now serves as my emotional compass. It's annoying but, I guess necessary. Especially where Schuldig is concerned.

Schuldig. Now there is a topic for another day. Maybe another few.

Not As Expected

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 20:19:42 GMT

I have spent so long in planning their demise that now that they are gone I find that I'm... empty. The death of the elders was all I had become... a single minded purpose that overrode anything and everything else.

Now that they are gone... I find that I need another purpose. Another reason to exist. Simply living life for life's sake may have been my goal for the others but I never considered it a goal for myself after the deed was done.

I never counted on a future. Ironic.

And the fact of the matter is, I have no idea how to do that. Just... live. I've even tired to imagine it... what normal was like... when I was a kid. It's more like the memory of an old tv show than memories of my own life, they seem so unreal. Farfarello, Schuldig and even Nagi, they have dreams, aspirations... what they would do if this life wasn't what fate handed them. I envy that. And they are all young enough to still have the chance to make those things happen. I don't have that luxury anymore.

So, one day at a time, here in the aftermath. Let all the would be successors to the elders thrones choke the life out of each other, narrow down the field. This is only the beginning, after all. Even if we are free from Eszett we will need to fight to stay that way.

And I have my own reasons for never going back.